Thursday, June 16, 2011

Top Gear demographics: your handy guide

No one wants a demographic mismatch in their television viewing; that would be socially and personally inappropriate. To save you, our worldwide readership, time that might be lost in inappropriate entertainment selection, we offer this brief socio-economic analysis of Top Gear.

English Top Gear (l-r): art school graduate (celebrity); public school boy (dilettante); public school boy (engineer)
Typical stunt: Have foxhunters and hounds try to catch an SUV cross-country
Audience appearance: well groomed, orderly middle class.
Program pace and tone: slow to moderate, needlessly competitive, slow repartee

Russian Top Gear (l-r): science institute graduate (analytical); macho proletarian (aggressive); clerk (docile)
Typical stunt: drive a car filled with explosives through a rocket barrage
Audience appearance: salt of the earth
Program pace and tone: fast, contrived, rapid repartee

Chinese Top Gear (l-r): hipster slacker (opinionated), white collar wage slave (intense); undergraduate student (verbose)
Typical stunt: See which powers a grain mill better, donkey or Cadillac
Audience appearance: random, young
Program pace and tone: slow; gaps in repartee

Australian original Top Gear (l-r): art school graduate (opinionated); formula car racer (relaxed); rally racer (chirpy)
Typical stunt: race to haul more gold ore in competing pickups
Audience appearance: farmers
Program pace and tone: slow to moderate, gregarious, little repartee

Australian new Top Gear (l-r): rally racer (chirpy), prole (droll), prole (dull)
Typical stunt: test drive a downmarket Ford
Audience appearance: farmers
Program pace and tone: slow to moderate, contrived, less repartee

American Top Gear (l-r): rally racer (self-conscious), prole journalist (cheerful), NYC comedian (out of his element)
Typical stunt: whatever BBC Top Gear did last season
Audience appearance: younger blue collar men
Program pace and tone: slow, sparse repartee